Lesson 17: Notes On Writing Hard Stories
Your body is a storyteller...
Your body is a storyteller. It often speaks before we have language to tell our experiences. This is the power of embodied storytelling and holding space to listen to what it is saying.
Years ago, when my body began speaking through the somatic, It was terrifying to feel so much, but it was also validating that my body had a voice and something it wanted to tell me.
When we go through loss, trauma, or have painful experiences, the stories themselves can house themselves in corners of our body until we are able to process them. This is a brilliant response to our brain/body wisdom, but if we never unleash the voice of our body, it can also create pain or dis-ease.
Bessel Van Der Kolk speaks to this well, "As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself...The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage."
When we dive into writing hard stories, there are a few things I want to remind you of…
The first is that embodiment and self-care practice is essential. I have specific tools in my Heal Your Story course if you would like to explore those, but for this I want to encourage you to keep it simple. To care for oneself in writing, to get back to the body, and to be compassionate for all that is coming up for you will be a powerful, healing process.
To engage in embodied care in your practice, I recommend grounding oneself with mindfulness of the body as you are writing by paying attention to how the body feels in that moment. Also, gentle breathing techniques, such as inhaling “I breathe in” and exhaling “I let go.” Lastly, having comforting things around you such as calming music, candles, essential oils, or even tea. This will help you engage your senses and nourish your nervous system.
The second is to remember to take your time. You are allowed to pause and pace yourself if you notice material triggers you or becomes to much. Please be kind. This kindness would help you build resilience to the page and to the your own healing process of writing.
The third is that you are writing this story, first and foremost for you. Please know this. One of the biggest fears I hear from folks is the fear of writing their story because they are afraid their truth may upset someone. Write first, revise second. The first draft is just you telling yourself the story. Please don’t censor yourself before you even begin. You can always get extra eyes on it later if you’re worried about the implications of storytelling.
Overall, know writing difficult material is not meant to be a race, but a marathon. Take your time. Breathe, write, rest, and repeat. You will be okay. You have survived and you are brave.